


there is a HORSE loose in the MOUNTAINS

by NOVALION



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Lowercase, M/M, Parody, au where rhodes isnt a fuckign COP, crossrhodes, gay cowboy shit ensues, listen that ship name FUCKS, please give qrow a bf already, rhodes your tiddies are so fat but your brain so small, this ones for the dilffuckers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28137564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NOVALION/pseuds/NOVALION
Summary: it's a lovely evening in kuchinashi, two scruffy huntsmen walk into a bar, and a Horrible Horse is wreaking havoc.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Rhodes (RWBY)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	there is a HORSE loose in the MOUNTAINS

**Author's Note:**

> this is mostly a joke. this is actually so fucking stupid i swear.
> 
> but i care about it

the kingdom of mistral isn't for everyone. the city of kuchinashi isn't for _anyone._ but anywhere can be good enough when you're a nobody.

for qrow branwen, _'anywhere'_ was less of a choice and more of a duty, or that's how he saw it at least. _'good enough'_ just had to be _'practical'_. he really didn't consider himself a _'nobody'_ , though; at just 30 years old, he'd already made quite a name for himself among fellow huntsmen. he just didn't consider himself _anybody special._ nearly every day he would march on into another job- another battle- another dangerous mission to be kept in the shadows- just to feel like he was doing something with his life, and nearly every night he would either celebrate a day of hard work, or numb down his exhaustion, with a drink at a tavern of his choice.

there wasn't a tavern in any corner of the farthest stretches of remnant that didn't know about him, whether by name or just by appearance; the mysterious scythe-wielder who always seemed to appear when you least expected it, who served and fought with a determined smile but never charged much in return, who would greet the bartenders on a first-name basis but preferred to drink completely alone. _'the skillful'_ wasn't any different. qrow hadn't been to kuchinashi many times before, but enough times to know the general ins-and-outs of the city and its residents- including the infamous criminal underworld. and while it wasn't ideal for him to work temporarily with his foes, it's easy to scare intel out of people when you have a reputation as a powerful huntsman.

qrow wasn't here on a mission, per se. no one had sent for him. he hadn't taken on any official assignments from the mission board. no, qrow was here for one very personal reason alone:

_he was looking for a steed._

in the grimm-infested world of remnant, regular animals were hard to come by. horses specifically were assumed to be on the brink of extinction, due to lack of manual breeding after they were no longer generally needed for transportation. but if there's anywhere that deals in the exquisite and rare, it would be the hedges of kuchinashi. why would a famous huntsman who also has the literal ability to transmorph into a bird need a horse? simple; 

_ever since he first saw a horse, he couldn't stop imagining how cool he would look riding one._

qrow always found the long trip through the mountains of mistral pretty daunting, and his embarrassing reason for coming here didn't make it any better. but it had to be worth it. as he sat at the skillful's bar counter and ran a finger around the rim of his glass, he reminisced back to the first and only time he'd ever seen a horse. it wasn't a real horse in real life, nothing but a drawing in an old picturebook that he'd read to his nieces. it was pure white from its fur to its mane and tail, that blew elegantly in the wind like silk, and riding it was a fair young woman in a cloak, wielding a staff. that's when he knew.

who was he before this realization? heck, who was he right now, without a loyal steed by his side to show the world that he was a gallant fighter not to be messed with, but also a gentle and kind-hearted soul on the inside? from that moment on, qrow knew he absolutely had to get a horse of his own, even if it meant dealing with the devil in the crime-ridden streets of kuchinashi. he downed his cold beer in one go.

"i don't think i've seen you around before."

a deep voice spoke out from qrow's left. he flinched ever so slightly, making him cough on the last few drops. amidst all his equine fantasizing, he hadn't even noticed the tall man sitting next to him at the counter. he was toned, and wore bits of enameled brass armor- just enough to still easily move around in quick melee combat- though he didn't seem to carry a weapon on him. long, smooth, dark brown hair was tied up in a ponytail, and judging by the faint gray streaks, he must have been around the same age as qrow himself. qrow looked at the man in confusion.

"uh... are you a regular here?"

"hah, nope."

qrow raised his brow, starting to grow suspicious. the man next to him let out a chuckle.

"don't worry, i'm not here to bust you. i'm not even from mistral. i'm just a huntsman doing my part, and when you spend several weeks in kuchinashi trying to dig up information, you come across a lot of...interesting people."

the mysterious huntsman scanned qrow thoroughly with his eyes, just once.

"and you certainly aren't an exception."

taken aback by the comment, qrow forgot all about distrust in a quick, brilliant moment of flusteredness. he scratched the back of his neck and tried to avoid eye contact.

"well, _you_ certainly talk a lot to strangers for a huntsman on the job..."

the huntsman chuckled again. qrow wasn't sure how to feel about this guy, blabbering casually about his mission in the skillful of all places; infamous for its violent patrons and criminal dealings. annoyance? pity? _a bit of envy?_ he didn't seem wasted, so maybe he was just very, very carefree. or very stupid. qrow couldn't help but find it somewhat endearing, though.

"... okay, but seriously, buddy. keep your voice down, will ya?" qrow said with a hint of a grin on his face. "this place isn't exactly known for taking kindly to huntsmen."

the huntsman smiled back. it was a warm and genuine smile, albeit a bit mischievous. "the name's rhodes. can i get you anything?"

"... qrow. and- ahh-... yeah, sure, whatever."

rhodes gestured to the bartender and picked out a cheap-looking bottle from the lowest shelf. _"go figure."_ qrow thought to himself, but he didn't say anything. when their drinks arrived, they clinked their glasses together and took a sip.

" _sooo..._ " qrow started, trying to formulate a conversation topic in his head. "since you've already gotten me involved, i guess...what's your story? what's going on in kuchinashi?"

"psssh, what's NOT going on in kuchinashi? but to answer your question, i'm nobody special, really. though i am on official business, i'm not here to solve a murder or beat anyone up if that's what you're thinking. i'm just...running an errand, of sorts." rhodes leaned in closer to qrow and lowered his voice slightly. "you heard about kuroyuri?"

"the village to the west of here? i've heard of it by name, but..."

"yeah. 'couple years ago, a small group of people from mistral decided they'd had enough of the council and their way of things, so they settled in the middle of nowhere to try and build a community away from the kingdom."

qrow scoffed. "can't really blame them."

"agreed. but despite how well they planned the whole thing, they're having trouble building up and protecting it without the kingdom's financial support. especially considering the grimm in the area. they need supplies, extra hands at construction, and help from huntsmen. as much as they can get."

the foolish huntsman qrow thought he was talking to seemed to go a lot deeper, all of a sudden. he felt himself lowering his defenses slightly.

"so, what, are you just...asking around, looking for people to help you help them? i don't think kuchinashi is-"

"no, here's the thing;" rhodes interrupted. "there are already lots of local huntsmen and huntresses doing their best to save this village. but the mission i've accepted is much more of a lowkey good deed." rhodes finished his drink. "though, that doesn't make it any less complicated. many of kuroyuri's residents are poor, too poor to afford a car, which makes transportation across anima difficult. though some of them have put their savings into finding and keeping livestock. and apparently, _someone's horse managed to go missing._ " he laughed. "imagine that."

qrow flinched. he couldn't believe what he just heard. not even taking a moment to consider that this horse was someone else's property, he began putting together the pieces.

"you're...looking for a horse..?" he asked wide-eyed.

"that's right! my client mentioned it running off to the southeast, and in the time i've spent here in kuchinashi, i've heard some chatter about seeing a horse on the loose near the mountains."

"...wait, what would a runaway horse from kuroyuri be doing in the mountainscape, weeks later? wouldn't it pretty much be dead by now? actually, don't you think a lot of this sounds, i don't know... _suspicious??_ "

"beats me. i don't mind taking risks if there's a chance of making someone's day, y'know?" rhodes said gleefully with his deep voice, winking at qrow.

qrow let out a small, embarrassed laugh. he drank what was left in his glass and sighed.

"...i might be able to help you."

rhodes looked at him, surprised. "seriously?"

"heh. i happen to be professional huntsman, myself. even if it's a small thing, i can't just sit here and not lend a hand, can i?"

"but...what would you even get out of it? i don't think i can convince them to pay the both of us."

" _well..._ " qrow tried to think up an excuse. though it probably wouldn't take much to make this guy believe in him, he decided to tell the truth anyway. "...i'm actually in need of a horse, too. maybe if we find it and bring it back, i can chat with your client about how i can get my hands on one as well."

just like that, unsurprisingly, rhodes nodded and reached out his hand.

"alright then, deal."

the two of them shook hands affirmatively.


End file.
